"MEOWTH!"

The voice was accompanied by a paper fan, and after a painful thud and a slow slide down to the floor he opened his eyes to stare at an enraged looking Jesse. Bits of pulverized plastering and paint rained over him.

"Did you eat all the tuna?!"

He blinked twice, and realized that he was awake.

"What?"

"Where is the tuna, you stupid cat?"

"What are you gonna do with the tuna?"

"It was my mama's secret recipe…." Her eyes started to wobble.

"Um, Jess, you really don't have to…"

"…and she used to tell me it made her beautiful…"

"Was it that good?"

"Yes!" his partner's voice broke in a sob, "It was the best… the best…"

Meowth decided it was time to take pity, mostly because that if he didn't he could probably expect a new bash in the head. It wasn't like this was the first flaw in Jesse's story about her poor mother who only could feed her snow either.

"I'm sure it was a delicious meal."

His partner stiffened under his paw, and slowly looked up at him, eyes narrowed in a menacing glare.

"What?"

"Um…" Meowth realized that he somehow had insulted the secret recipe, but he had no idea about how.

"My mother's secret recipe was not some sort of stupid MEAL!" she roared, and Meowth's brain panicked started to search for possible ways to escape, "It was the best face mask EVER!"

Misty was officially depressed. It was so unfair. So very frickin' goddamned unfair.

Tracey had a girlfriend.

Brock had a date with Officer Jenny.

Professor Oak was doing it with Ash's mum.

Even Ash seemed to get it on with Gary… okay, so neither of them actually were interested in anything but pokémon, but the amount of time they'd spent together since Ash returned had been a bit suspicious.

Only Misty was lonely.

Life sucked.

Couldn't at least somebody care about her?!

She sighed. No, because the one she wanted to care about her sure did not.

"Okay, that was a total fluke." Gary muttered and chucked his sisters paper pad over to the other side of the room, and Ash sighed.

"And I was sure that whoever that Giovanni guy was he must've been enough to make her… " his voice trailed off into a distressed sigh.

"How sure are you about that?"

"Sure enough to know that she still has a shoebox filled with love-letters from him hidden under her bed."

They sat in silence for a few minutes, "Do you have any ideas what to do?"

Gary silently shook his head.

"This is so sick… it's absurd… it's…"

"My little brother would be your uncle…"

That thought seemed to be especially scary for Ash, and Gary could hardly blame him, even if it seemed to become a mantra of his.

"We have to do something!" he exclaimed at last, desperately clutching his hand in his hair and pulled.

"Don't you think I know?!" Ash snapped, and threw himself backwards on the bed, staring into the ceiling.

"I don't want Mum to… do stuff with your…"

"Do you think I want it?!"

Ash turned his head to were Gary was seated and met his eyes.

"Do you think anybody will help us?"

The other boy silently shook his head.

"May doesn't know, and neither of your friends are interested. Are there anybody else?"

"I need something to eat…"

Gary sighed and waved a dismissing hand at him.

"I'll call you if I come up with something."

Brock had decided to take out some of the suspense for his upcoming date by helping Mrs. Ketchum in the house, but since she was a neat freak herself the only thing he could do was to make cookies, something he had done for two hours now and would have continued with if it hadn't been for the tiny fact that he was out of flour and barely had enough sugar to sweeten a cup of coffee, so he did now sit at the table, a dreamy smile on his lips as he stared blankly into the air as Mr. Mimie happily munched away.

Officer Jenny… Brock really liked Officer Jenny. This one in particular… and she seemed to like him, too, at least enough to want to date him, and nobody had ever liked Brock enough to want to date him, and…

“Cookies!” Ash squealed as he entered and eagerly joined Mimie in devouring it.

Brock didn't bat an eyelid.

James looked down at the bowl in his partner's hands, sniffed, and then backed away.

"Don't be such a wuss!" she snapped and followed in his steps, raising her hands, bowl and all, threateningly.

"It'll make me stink!"

"No it wont! Now come here and let me help…"
"But…"

"James!"

"It makes me wanna puke! I don't want to!" he whimpered, before he made a mad dash for the bathroom and slammed the door shut. There was a loud bang as Jesse ran into it. It also sounded like the dreaded content of the bowl was spread out on the floor.

"I'm taking a shower!" he told her and locked the door, turned on the water and pretended that he didn't hear the angry shouts from the outside.

Tracey had a few moral dilemmas.

One thing was that he didn't lie. Another was that he didn't have much to contribute with in helping Brock through a somewhat successful date with Officer Jenny. With two hours to drive to Viridian City, the closest he and May had been to an actual date had been a night they'd dined alone because the Professor had been away. And Brock obviously needed all the help he could get.

"Er…" he looked the young man in front of him up and down, "I think you should take a shower. You kinda smell like… er… cookies." Brock nodded.

"And…?"

"I guess you… um… should bring her flowers… and you need clothes…" Brock nodded again, but then a look of worry fell over him.

"Oh… I forgot… I only have…" he looked down at his standard travelling outfit, and Tracey scratched his head.

"I'd borrow you something, but you probably won't fit them… and certainly not any of Gary's clothes either…" His brow furrowed in thought.

"What are you watching?" Ash turned his head to the side and looked at Misty.

"'Legend of the Hidden City'." He replied and turned his attention back to the TV, but he heard her make a sound of disgust, "It's kinda fun when it's upside down. After a while your brain goes all weird." When she still looked doubtfully at him he attempted to shrug, but failed, "I'm bored."

"Oh." She replied and sat down beside him, "Do you mind if I join you?"

He shook his head, and she turned around, before laying down with her head hanging over the pillow and her feet slung over the back, her eyes fixed on the screen.

"You're right." She agreed after a while, "It does make it kind of fun."

They both turned their attention to the stairs somebody came running down, and was met by Tracey with a look of determination and slight nervousness. He was halfway out of the door when he turned back and looked at them.

"What are you two doing?"

"Watching TV. What does it look like we're doing?!" Misty snapped.

"Oh…" he looked like he wanted to say something more, but didn't. Instead he turned to Ash.

"Do you know were your mother is?"

"Yeah… I think she's talking to Professor Oak in the garden… " His voice was oddly strained, but Tracey looked relieved.

"Okay. If Brock looks for me, tell him I'll be back soon." Was all he replied before he ran out of the door, leaving Ash and Misty looking puzzled after him.

James left the bathroom after carefully looking around to be sure that Jesse wasn't waiting to ambush him, and was just starting to dress when she came bursting into his room, clamping a hand over his mouth and eagerly held a magazine up in front of his face.

"Take a look at this!" she giggled, and he obediently took it from her, sitting down and studying the skinny model without finding anything unusual about her.

"What?"
"That!" she told him and pointed to the picture with a hint of exasperation. His eyes widened.

"Oh my God…"

"I know! It's fashion now! We're pioneers! And he'll be…"

"Mush!" James ended it for her.

They grinned at each other.

"We'll take the black one." James decided.

"Definitely."

"It's weird that he didn't react when we did it with that outfit of yours, though … maybe he's gay…" he said and hoped he didn't sound too hopeful.

"I wouldn't bet on it. I looked like a drag queen with those glasses anyway…" she smiled at him, "But tonight, my dear, you'll be as foxy as never before. And Pikachu will finally be ours!"

Brock was just done toweling his hair when he heard a knock on the door.

"Yeah?"

"I've got something you can wear…" Tracey stepped inside with something black folded over his arm. He dropped it by the sink, making a cloud of dust rise.

"That's…" Brock suddenly stopped, "What's that smell?" he asked and looked at the fabric.

"I'm not really sure…" Tracey sniffed the air and then turned to open the window, "But it probably hasn't been used for years anyway." He picked it up and started beating the dust out of it, making both of them cough, "I think it was mice in the closet."

********

Now wasn't that pointless? Oh well… the story will come. Trust me, it will.