A new interview! Today: Pikachu!
Me: Welcome, Pikachu.
Me: So... what did you do today?
Pikachu: Pika pikaka chuu, pikapika chupika.
Me: Erm... hey, can anybody translate him?
Todd: I guess Ash can
Me: Yeah... what are you doing here, by the way?
Todd: I don't know
Me: How should you... Ash, can you come down here to translate?
Ash: *While pressing a piece of paper to his face* By dose 's beedin'!
Brock: His nose is bleeding.
Brock: We ran into Gary outside here...
Me: Gary did this?
Tracey: No, Misty.
Me: Where's Gary, then?
Ash: At da ophbital wid mah muhm.
Tracey: At the hospital with his mum.
Me: That was Misty too?
Brock: Yep. She has a bit PMS today...
*Misty kicks him in a place where it probably hurts badly, and he fells to the ground moaning. Then for a reason we'll never know she kicks Tracey too.*
Me: Right.... Anybody else can translate?
Meowth: I can.
Me: Uh... well... get down here...
*Meowth runs down and seats himself beside Pikachu in the chair*
Me: if we're ready, here's first question: What is Ash to you?
Pikachu: Pikapi pik pikichu chu pika chu.
Meowth: He is my best friend, and, of course, my trainer, so... hey, stop hogging da space! It's not like you're ass is dat big! *Pushes Pikachu*
Pikachu: Pika! Chu! *Pushes Meowth back*
Meowth: Why ya little...*Pushes Pikachu with more force*
Pikachu: Chu! *Shows Meowth all he can*
Meowth: Dat's it! Meowth, digivolve to...
Me: Okay I've seen a lot of Digimon lately, and maybe you have too, but I don't think you are one.
Meowht: Darn. Anyway, digivolve to...Persian!
Meowth: What da hell...
Me: Want some rare candy? *holds out a bag*
Meowth: Did ya take it from Jesse and James?
Me: Look I'm sick of stealing from other peoples fanfics so shut up and take the damn candy if you want to evolve!
Meowth: I don't wanna evolve! I wanna digivolve!
Me: Well you can't! So sit down and translate if you can't figure what to do!
*Meowth grumbling sits down*
Me: Back to the interview: Pika... *notices Ash talking in a phone* Hey, no cell phones allowed here!
Ash: But I need to get paramedics for Brock and Tracey!
Me: They are cartoons! They survive it!
Ash: But they are bleeding all over the place!
Me: Whatever did she do to them?
Ash: Uh... I dunno... but I need to... *cell phone explodes in his hands*
Me: Pikachu, what is your favorite hobby?
Pikachu: Chu pika pipika!
Me: What did he say?
Meowth: 'Ta kick those looser Team Rocket's ass!'
Me: I'm not too surprised...
Meowth: How DARE ya say dat?!
Me: Well he had to tell the truth, hadn't he? Let's go on... Pikachu, where do you come from?
Pikachu: Pipipi ka chu!
Meowth: From da filthies slum in Celadon.
Pikachu: Chu! Chu!
Me: Oh really? Well... do you have any family?
Meowth: Except da he ran away form wife and ten children in Viridian forest he also has a little slut at Power plant...
Pikachu: Chu! Chuchuchuchu!
Me: Wow that was... surprising. *sweatdrops*
Me: Oh-kay... Do you like to watch TV?
Pikachu: Chu *shooks his head*
Meowth: Only da playboy channel.
Pikachu: Chu! Pika chu chu pika! *thundershocks Meowth*
Meowth: And Days of our lifes! *collapses on the floor*
Me: *takes a bottle of potion from the table beside me and tries pour it into Meowth.*
Annoying Disembodied Voice: It won't have any effect.
Me: Huh? Who the hell are you?
Annoying Disembodied Voice: I am the PokèGod! I am the one who give all stupid comments in the games about obvious things, like that you can't fish in the pond in the park...
Me: Actually, that's Oak.
Annoying Disembodied Voice: Damn. Well, I am the one telling you that your PC box is full!
Me: That's Bill...
Annoying Disembodied Voice: But... I do _something_!
Me: Yeah... now go away. *scowls at Meowth and pulls out a bottle of revive and gives it to him*
Me: That cost me 1500 yen! Pikachu, don't attack Meowth again and what level are you at?
Pikachu: Chu ka.
Meowth: No comment.
Me: Uh... well...
*Paramedics run in and get Brock and Tracey out*
Me: Anyway... Favorite pokèmon, yourself doesn't count.
Meowth: Quit whining! *grins* Meowth!
Pikachu: *Bites Meowth's tail*
Me: *Pushes Meowth away before he can furyswipe Pikachu* Really?
Pikachu: Chu! Chu!
Me: So... do you like me, Pikachu?
Pikachu: *looks warily around, then nods slowly*
Me: *grins* Cool! I need you to talk some sense into somebody...*takes pokèball from waist and throws it, and an Eevee emerges*
Me: *Smiles and holds out arms* Euiwy!
Meowth: You named it Euiwy?!
Me: You have problems with it? It does have a name, unlike somebody else!
Meowth: Yeah, but... wouldn't that be the same as to call a Meowth Meow?
Me: You wanna meet Meowth the Meow? Or now, Persian the Meow?
Meowth: A Persian?!
Me: Exactly, so shut up. *picks up a struggling Euiwy* Pikachu, can you tell him what is so great about me?
Me: You see, Euiwy here has a little problem with realizing how much I really love him...
Euiwy: *bites my hand*
Me: Yeah, as you see... He is now at level 44, and has been trained constantly since I got him, I have bought potions and antidotes and healed him after every battle he fought, but he still doesn't love me enough to evolve into an Espeon...
Euiwy: *snapps after my hand again*
Me: *With tears streaming down face* I don't know what went wrong...
Euiwy: Ui! Wee eui wuy ee!
Meowth: Do you really have three other Eevees as well?
Me: Well, my damn little sister feed poor Damix rare candies 'til he was at level 100, Euiwy won't evolve in time to learn any actual attacks so I had to get Lunar too, and then I forgot my Flamegirl with the breeding center dude and then Solar came and I'd learned from my earlier mistakes not to say 'no' when the breeding center dude asks if you want the egg... is that the problem?
Me: But Euiwy! You were the one that wouldn't evolve! I even cut your hair five times!
Euiwy: Eei ui!
Me: It ain't MY fault it always were the youngest haircut brother there...
Meowth: That explains the pink fur...
Me: It wasn't like I did it on purpose? Doesn't it show that I love you, at least? Pikachu! Tell him!
Me: *scowls at Pikachu* traitor. Euiwy, return!
Euiwy: Eeui ui ee!
Meowth: *winces* Does he listen to Eminem?
Me: No... why?
Meowth: Nothing... but that was bad...
Me: *sighs* I even have bad influence on my pokèmon...
Meowth: What's the point in this?
Me: Uh.... Yeah, Pikachu!
Me: *shuffling though cards* Who is prettier, Prima, Ash's mum or the Cerulean Sisters?
Me: She wasn't mentioned.
Meowth: She is a Cerulean sister...
Me: There's only three Cerulean sisters and one little sister!
Meowth: He still said Misty.
Me: *looks suspiciously at Meowth* You're making up stuff, aren't you?
Me: You ARE! There is NO way anybody can think Misty is prettier than Prima!
Me: Shut up! I'm not talking to you! *thinks* Oh god... now I can't even trust the translator! What to do...
Pikachu: Pi! *runs off*
Meowth: That ending was cheap.
Me: I know. Here. *gives him rare candy bag*
Meowth: What am I gonna do with that?
Me: Evolve, give it to Jesse and James, bribe Ash, whatever you want to. I'm out of here.